The Journey of Resilience: Embracing the Alcohol-Free Path as a Solo Parent

Stepping Stones:

Do you believe alcohol is helping you hold it together while you are coping with significant life changes as a single parent? Do people tell you you deserve a drink to relax, as times are hard - but now you are suspecting that alcohol is maybe making it harder? What if it is?🤔

Becoming a solo parent is like embarking on a grand adventure, filled with unique hurdles to overcome - and whether you start the journey alone or with a partner, relationships, dating and other people inevitably end up coming into the mix.v Amidst navigating the labyrinth of single parenthood, finding joy, and building emotional resilience, a rising number of solo parents are choosing to embrace the alcohol-free lifestyle. That was the opposite to my start as a single parent.  In my separation, I had significant loss with someone I loved dearly whilst still grieving my father, and in the challenge of relocating home, job and cities, my life changed overnight.  To process all that, I had leaned into numbing with alcohol and believed it was the only thing that kept me going at that point - until I realised it wasn't.  My youngest daughter was stuggling with her health, change and the trauma of everything, and I started to realise I really was the only one there for her if something happened.  However, I had given alcohol a job, and so that made stopping tricky and stressful.  In 2019, I read This Naked Mind.  I was still fully functioning professionally and appeared to be in my personal life, but I was aware of a shift - and I didnt like it.  Through This Naked Mind I realised I got to CHOOSE whether I wanted to drink alcohol any more, and the reality was that I didn't.  My daughter was my utmost priority and although I was still grieving loss, I had to change my mindset about things.  That was the turning point.  You may think, oh that wouldn't work for me - that you are drinking more than I could imagine or that you would ever be willing to confess to anyone.  But the truth is, I've been there, I've seen it and I've come through it.  As a This Naked Mind Certified Coach, I've worked with the methodology and I've witnessed it work for others just like you too.  There is hope for EVERYONE - and you don't have to hit "rock bottom".

This choice is a powerful catalyst for self-transformation. As a fellow traveler on this path, I'm excited to share my experiences and the amazing benefits this journey has to offer. Choosing to live without alcohol goes beyond just quitting; it's about reigniting joy, strength, and fostering a deeper relationship with yourself and your children.  You become the person who is ALWAYS there, aware and ready, even if they (or their friends) are stuck with out transport in the middle of the night after clubbing.  That was one of my fears - because when you have a drink you just can't jump in a car, be on the phone while you get there and get them home safely.  Thankfully, when those nights came for me to do so, I was fully able to do so, and my gratitude to being sober will never end.  As a child of a single parent family, your kid is going to have their stuff to work through too, and it's much easier for you coping with their emotions without a drink in hand or with a hangover. 

So, what are the other benefits?

Changing Lanes:

Opting for an alcohol-free lifestyle is a game-changer. It's about realising that we're worth more than turning to alcohol to deal with life's ups and downs. Choosing sobriety turns into a journey of authentic self-care, personal growth, and crafting a brighter future for us and our children.  I know my daughter is proud of me and my journey.  She has witnessed me change, grow and be a strong woman to cope with the change, loss and challenges.  She hugs me and tells me so.  I adore her and she loves me right back, and I am so grateful that every minute i have her in my life, I am cognisant in witnessing her grow into a beautiful, strong woman who has a deep understanding of others.   Sobriety has allowed me that presence, and to value it. 

The Rewards of an Alcohol-Free Life for Solo Parents:

1. Crystal Clear Presence:

Being sober equips us to be fully present for our children. It enables us to trade foggy judgment and erratic mood swings for stability, love, and undivided attention. You may not want to admit to yourself, or even realise that alcohol makes your anxiety worse, but it does.  FACT.

2. Physical and Mental Wellness:

Ditching alcohol often leads to improved physical health, better sleep, and less anxiety. This newfound energy and vitality can fuel us to tackle our responsibilities with gusto. Mindfulness and meditation that I started building into my life as part of my journey has really benefited my mental health, and I no longer constantly worry about what I'm doing to my liver.  

3. Emotional Resilience:

Sobriety equips us to identify and address the emotional triggers that lead to drinking. It's a powerful tool for handling stress, solitude, and overwhelm in healthier ways.  In removing alcohol, I had to accept and understand myself better, and build in self care skills that now give me a whole other way to really cope with life.

4. Financial Liberation:

Solo parenting can be financially demanding. Yup, even once they are older, they still need their stuff, and there is even more pressure if you are on your own that you make sure they don't go without.  Choosing sobriety liberates funds once spent on alcohol and opens up opportunities to build a more secure future for us and our children.  Let's be honest, even if you are only spending on alcohol at home, not on wild nights out, it still builds up over the week, month and year.  Whether you use it to pay a credit card, help ease the pressure of getting by each month, or put it by little by little buy yourself a treat, there are benefits to ditching the bottle.

5. Community and Support:

Sobriety communities provide a network of understanding and supportive individuals who are on similar journeys.  As a Certified This Naked Mind Coach, I cannot herald the TNM Companion app enough for the community conversation there.  There are plenty people who understand what you are going through.  However, I am quite a private, introverted person (I know, I'm writing a blog now, but when I was drinking I definitely was NOT up for anyone knowing my story) and so I have created a free resource hub within Kajabi communities.  It has lots of free motivation and resources without peering eyes.  See the top of my website to join!

Rediscovering Joy and Strength:

Living an alcohol-free life isn't about deprivation, it's about taking back control of our lives. It's a statement that we are worth the effort, the joy, and the love that we can now freely offer ourselves and our children.  Finding freedom and peace of mind is a wonderful feeling, and you can be proud of yourself in the process.

Throughout this journey, you can discover an inner strength you never knew you had, and learn to face life's challenges with resilience, finding joy in the everyday moments with our children. Sobriety becomes a source of empowerment and self-love.

Curtain Call:

To all the solo parents out there, embracing an alcohol-free life, your journey is a testament to your strength and love for both yourself and your children. May your path be filled with the joy, strength, and love you so richly deserve. You're not alone on this transformative journey, and your decision to live without alcohol is a powerful step towards a brighter future. 🌟❤️

Visit my website for free resources or follow me on Instagram @yourdesirablelife or Facebook for more support and tips on your journey.  You deserve the life you desire.💕

love

Susan

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